


Black Butler Crabbles

by Shadow Eon (orphan_account)



Series: Random fics [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Crack, Multi, The Author Regrets Nothing, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3942631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Shadow%20Eon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can you not read the title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ice Cream

"Alois, let's go buy ice-cream!" You said to the said boy. He smiled and agreed. 

"Yeah, let's go Claude!"  
\--  
You kept on licking the ice-cream in a sexual manner in front of the butler. You don't know why, but you got a feeling its annoying him. You licked for a few times before he cracked.

"Can't you eat your ice cream normally?" He asked you ina very calm way.

"What the hell Claude? Perv!" You pretended to be mad. You shoved your ice cream on his crotch. "...SOMEONE's got a boner..." 

You ran away and tried to dodge all knife/ice cream cones while Alois kept on asking what 'cum' is.


	2. Its a cup with dirt in it.owo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YOU PIG.

"Ah!Yes, Sebastian! FASTER, HARDER!" You kept on pretending to have sex with Sebastian. You were banging on the wall while you were moaning such things, like:

"FUCK YEAH SEBBY-ahhh!!"

"Deeper, Sebastian!"

The moment when Claude walks in and you pretend to be asleep ouo.  
\---  
"...what happened last night?" Claude asked you. You were like, "Huh?"

"I mean, you and Michaelis were so loud...making love-" _SLAP!_

"You pig! What's wrong with you?! You're disgusting!" And then you walked away.

You did the same thing tonight.


	3. hey smell my flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tiny screaming frog:  
> Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

"Hey Claude look at this." You showed him your computer, which had video of people killing spiders. His eye twitched in annoyance when you showed him gif of it. I mean, killing spiders within two seconds ane replaying it for an hour.

I hope you're still alive ;)


	4. Starbux lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boom crap the sound of my fart the beat goes on and on and on yeah...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dieing. WILL U BUTTER GET MALCOLM AND HEAL HALT.

"Hello, Claude." you said behind him. He was about to greet you and turn around when you walked past him and sniffed his arm. He had a shocked look on his face when you walked away like nothing happened.  
\---  
He gripped your shoulders tightly and started shaking you. You sighed.

"There's nothing wrong with me, Claude."

•Flashback•  
"Alois!" you glomped him. "You're so small!" you grabbed his ends and stretched him, smiling and saying 'Streeetch' while everybody watched in silence.  
•End•

"First, you sniffed my arm! Then you traumatized Alois!" He exclaimed angrily. You got your IPhone and showed him a GIF of people squishing spiders.

Please don't die, Reader-chan!


End file.
